The Choices We Make

With my life’s days rapidly ticking down, I knew that I had a decision to make. I had continued to push it back, convincing myself that I had plenty of time left to decide. I awoke one cold morning and could feel my bones crackle as I stretched out of bed. My body just wasn’t the way it used to be.

I had retired from work a few months earlier, and had been wasting away my days gardening and fishing. Yet, those things were starting to become too difficult for me. The arthritis in my hand caused it to be difficult to work my garden, or reel in fish. I loved being outside, and it pained me to be unable to do the things I loved due to such discomfort.

Nothing distressed me as much, though, as the choice I had standing before me. I had to decide which of my handsome boys would be the heir to my legacy. Which one would inherit all my money, my land, and everything I possessed.

My first son was Garret. He was a hard worker, and very handsome. He truly cared about the family, and I knew that he would make a wonderful father. Yet, he was so focused on his work, no matter what kind of work it was. I feared that he would spend his life working and never have time to settle down until it was too late. He was intelligent, much smarter than I could have ever dreamed to be. To him, the world was an unwritten book, ready to be explored and taken in for all it was worth.

With his graduation date coming nearer and nearer, it would be a wonderful thing to have him take over the legacy and make something of the Greymane name. He was my first child, my first choice. I had all my faith in him, since I spent so much time with him and learning who he was. I taught him everything I knew, and told him all my fears and secrets. Unfortunately, it would be unfair for me to hand over everything to him without deep consideration first.

My second son was Joshua. I loved him dearly, but he was such a shady guy. He rarely ever talked to any of the family, he was always sneaking out of the house and coming home late at night. I never had any reason to believe he was doing anything wrong, I just wished he would spend more time getting to know me. Perhaps all I wanted was to know him. I should have been with him more as a child, maybe then I would have had a better relationship with him.

I knew better than to think about the past; what was done, was done. If I gave him my legacy, maybe we would grow closer. However, it was a long shot idea, and I doubted its effectiveness. I didn’t know if he ever planned on getting married, or having kids. I didn’t even know what kind of job he wanted to pursue after high school.

I felt like this choice was similar to a game show. I could choose the one that I knew all about, I knew what I would get; or I could choose what was behind door number two and get a surprise. It could end up good or bad.

Since my boggled mind was not suitable for such a tough judgement, I let Carlotta in on what was going on. She listened to me ramble on about everything I felt. She placed her worn hand on my shoulder and set a finger to my lips.

“Garret is first-born, let him decide his own fate. If he wants it, he can have it; if not, then offer it to Joshua. It will work itself out in the end. All that matters is that our boys enjoy the life we have provided them.”

Carlotta was right, she always was. I would let Garret decide what he wanted to do. So I sat down at the chess table with him one evening and pretended to be interested in the small talk we were making.

Garret was playing just as fiercely as he always did. It was a short game due to my lack of focus and aging brain. Garret knew something was wrong. He had never beaten me in just three moves. He looked at me puzzled and asked if I was feeling okay.

I told him I was fine, but that had something I needed to talk to him about. He smiled at me and stood up. I got up too, and was about to tell him that I wanted him to continue my legacy, but he stopped me.

“Dad, I know what you are going to say. I heard you and mom talking last night. I know you are stressed about choosing between me and Joshua to take over once you and mom pass on. I know you are worried about Layla growing up without you guys here, but you have two amazing sons to care for her. We both love this family and only wish the best for it.”

“I don’t want to make you feel like you have to choose between us, so I chose for you. I don’t want to be your successor. I don’t want to live here after I graduate. You have already given me more than any son could have ever asked. I just want Joshua to have the same.”

Garret was such a wonderful son. He had helped me out so much, and was so unselfish. I really did want him to be my heir, but there was bigger things out there awaiting him, and I couldn’t force him to stay in little Riverview. Joshua would be fine, I just had to keep telling myself that until I knew it was true.

Chapter Eight: Never Easy