First Concert

After the death of both of my parents, the loss of my lover, and my only family occupied with a baby; my life seemed empty. I felt alone and unguided. I began to pour every part of myself into my music. It was the only dream I still had alive. When I wasn’t at work, I was writing songs. I learned how to play the keyboard and the drums. I even tried out the bass, but it just wasn’t my thing.

As hard as I tried, I could not get Connie off my mind. I hated Ashley for taking away the best part of my life. I hadn’t talked to either of them since the night before I graduated. However, I still would go over to their house at night.

In my mind, Connie still loved me. It made me feel better to watch her, like I was still a part of her life this way. Sometimes I pretended that she was talking to me. Sometimes I would watch her get ready for bed, and imagine her sliding into my bed.

I had become a pro at melting into the blackness of the night sky. Connie never saw me; if she did then maybe she liked knowing I was there, that I never stopped loving her. It made her feel safe to know that I was always there for her. My guess is that she didn’t know I watched her, though.

I didn’t sleep for weeks, all my time was spent playing music. My first concert was coming up and I wanted it to go well. Not only did my career depend on it, but so did my relationship with Connie.

I had went over to her house with an envelope one night. Inside of it was a single ticket to my concert, front row seat. I had written her name on the outside and slipped it under the front door. If only she would come, my life would become much happier.

The night of the concert came rapidly and I was a nervous wreck. It wasn’t stage fright, I was nervous about whether or not Connie would be there to see it. I had written all my songs for her, and if only she were to hear them, she would see how much I missed her and needed her back in my life. The bus drive to the theater seemed to take hours. I sat tensely in my seat and tried to calm my racing heart.

I arrived and somehow stumbled out onto the stage. Immediately the bright lights blinded me. It was hard to see anyone, everything was just a blur to me. I had my guitar strapped to my chest, it felt like it weighed a hundred pounds. I leaned forward and grasped the mic. It squealed loudly over the speakers. Someone in the audience sneezed and it echoed through the room. I heard my heart pounding in my ears and sweat beaded down my face.

I deepened my voice, when I spoke it came across sounding almost devilishly.

“My name… is Crow.” The crowd cheered loudly. “Prepare to die!”

The lights went out and the stage filled with smoke.  The only light was the dim colored bulbs embedded in the front of the stage. It gave the room and eerie glow. I scanned the audience and saw glowing pink hair in the front row. I strummed my guitar and its deep sound vibrated with a demonic tone.

I began my song, titled “Without a Soul”, it was the first song I wrote after loosing Connie. I got to the chorus and quieted down my guitar.

When you left that day,

I saw you walk away with my heart in your hands.

Now I’m just a corpse,

Living without a soul!

The crowd was going wild by the time my concert was over. I felt exhilarated, like I never had before. I was a step closer to fulfilling my dream of becoming a RockStar. As I left the building, I had a smug look on my face.

Now I just needed to find Connie and see what she thought of me now. I scanned the crowd of fans as they left. Occasionally I signed an autograph or took a picture with screaming teenage girls. When the crowd cleared, I saw a familiar glint of pink hair. I ran over to her, only to find out that it was Ashley.

I looked at her puzzled, “Why are you here? I gave that ticket to Connie.”

“Oh yeah, she said she didn’t want to come see you. She said she doesn’t ever want to see you again. She doesn’t love you anymore. So, she gave the ticket to me. Of course, I will always be here to support you… Crow.” She winked at me.

The look on her face made me suspicious of her story, but I knew there was no truth to be had from her.

All I knew was that I was angry. After all the work I had put into this concert; my whole heart poured out on stage before hundreds of rocking fans. Yet, Connie gave her ticket to the one person I hated most. How could she do that to me?

“Excuse me, are you Crow?!” I heard a girly voice behind me and turned around.

It was a beautiful blond woman. When she saw my face she ran up to me, “Oh my goodness! It is you! I’m such a fan! I just loved your songs so much!”

We started talking, she actually was quiet smart, she took my mind off the anger I had felt from Ashley.

I guess I was caught up in the emotional rollercoaster from the night, because I soon found myself lying in bed with the girl, who I had learned was named Claire.

She had seductive violet eyes, and a sexy rose tattoo between her breasts. She made me feel so weak, and before I knew it, we were in nothing but our under clothes, kissing passionately. She looked me in the eyes and pulled me over her.

It was the first time I had ever been intimate with a woman, to say the least, Claire made it unforgettable.

Afterwards, she whispered to me, “Welcome to the life of a RockStar.”

She kissed my cheek and got dressed. She then ran out of my house.

I was left standing in the doorway to my bedroom, my emotions even more stirred up. I had only one question, though, who was I becoming?

Chapter Four: On Tour